Thursday, May 10, 2012

Joe The Plumber Makes A Mistake And Nearly Kills His Dog

I'm really puzzled about Joe The Plumber's decision-making abilities today.

Joe has decided to leave wicked Sacramento forever, and head towards the Big-Sky Country: Montana. Earlier today, as part of his manic effort to unload his personal belongings, he came to my workplace, and loudly informed the office staff that he wanted to find me ASAP. He told loud, R-rated jokes as the staff scrambled to locate me. Eventually, the office staff realized I was probably at Subway for lunch, so (with relief) they sent him down the street to find me there, which he eventually did.

Joe had been thinking of giving me his pickup truck, but he decided to give that to someone else. Instead, Joe wanted to give me a mountain bike (which was damaged, and required some repair). For some reason, my inspection of this bike couldn't wait. Perhaps he saw himself as inspired now that he's decided on a path forward in his life; I saw him as loud and embarrassing.

In the evening, he went to retrieve his own mountain bike, which is stored in my shed at home (and to which he has access). Later in the evening, he returned to my house for some reason I have yet to establish.

Joe said he saw the Honda sedan coming down the alley behind my house. Nevertheless, he didn't hesitate to open the passenger door of his van in order to let his Labrador retriever, Bella, leap down upon the pavement. Bella jumped down out of the van just as the Honda passed by. Bella was sideswiped by the car, and tossed.

According to Joe, despite being struck by the car, Bella did not seem seriously-injured. Instead, Bella interpreted the impact as chastisement, and was apologetic. The driver stopped, but after a few minutes Joe sent her on her way. Joe took Bella to Land Park (a favorite place) for some quiet time, and is keeping an eye on her this evening.

Today, Joe's decision-making processes seem even more questionable than usual. If he ever leaves town, I doubt he'll ever get to Montana without something derailing him on the way. Maybe he'll end up in Elko, or Salt Lake City, but maybe he'll actually get to Big Sky Country. Beware actually making it there, though. Living in a van down by the river is no picnic in a Sacramento winter, but it's a walk in the park compared to Great Falls in December.

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