Wednesday, August 07, 2013

I Knew This Would Happen

Two weeks ago, someone stole Joe the Plumber's bicycle. So, he asked to borrow back the bicycle he sold me last year for $140, in order to have transportation (since his van is all but incapacitated).

So, today's 8:30 a.m. phone call was inevitable:

J.: You won't believe it. They stole the bicycle. Took it out right from me!

M.: How did it happen?

J.: It was this family of girls. They've been hanging around. The girl who took it looked like maybe she was ten. Some of my friends thought she looked older, and one even said: 'Boy, she's hot!' She stole it. A friend was close enough to stop her, but he was too slow. I found the place where they hid the bicycle. Then her mom and her sisters drove past. They picked up the bicycle, put it on their vehicle, hopped in and took off before I could catch them. They turned the wrong way onto the freeway. I called the cops and described them, but they didn't believe me. They're in on it too. You trust cops to be good people, but they don't even know the concept. The Bible and Christianity are nothing but a conspiracy against people. I just wish I had a baseball bat. So, sorry about your bike.

After the call, E. approached:

E.: Who dat?

M.: Psycho II.

E.: I HATE him! What does he want?

M.: Someone stole the bicycle he borrowed back from me.

E.: MMMMMAAAARRRCCCC! When will you ever learn? No one stole that bike!

M.: Well, whatever, it's gone.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:56 AM

    Take a look at Joe's teeth. This sounds like the storytelling of a meth addict.

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  2. I don't think he qualifies as an addict, but maybe as an occasional user. (He can't afford it now and apparently was reduced to eating Bella's dog food this week). It's hard to separate the role of drugs/alcohol, from the effects of the brain damage he got back in 2004 due to a beating he received at the Stoney Inn, from any predisposing condition before either of those, from oddities due to his code of honor. Life is rougher on the streets than people often realize, and a constant stream of (often self-induced) calamities don't help.

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