Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Damned Slippery Artificial Fibers

(Around dawn, about 6:30 a.m., at Casa Valdez in Sacramento.....)

M.: KER-BOOM!

E.: (tentatively, faraway in the dark) MMMAAARRRRCCC? Are you OK? I heard some big boom....

M.: (slowly getting up) Ugh! I fell out of bed!

E.: You did? Why?

M.: I was thinking about going to the restroom, so I rolled to the left, but the blanket was there, and it's made from artificial fibers, and because it was cold I was wearing a sweater also made from artificial fibers, and those fibers have a low coefficient of kinetic friction, so I slipped off the bed into the nightstand, but it skidded over too, and so I went BOOM on the floor!

E.: Maybe you were dreaming....

M.: I WAS dreaming! I dreamt you were leading an aerobics class right here in my bedroom, and you all were trying to be real quiet, so as not to wake me up. There were twenty people here. Jenny Plasse was here. Everyone was here!

E.: (giggling)

M.: And where are my mouth guards? It's e-dumb! Maybe I swallowed them. No, wait a minute, here they are! I sometimes take them out in the middle of the night. I don't know why...

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